rule 1, you better drive fast, even if it appears like you can't

My boyfriend doesn't know how to drive in L.A. He's been driving here since he was 16, yet he has no idea how to get anywhere and hasn't mastered the art of maneuvering, lane hopping, or overall speed. He'll sit angrily behind a semi for miles, gripping the steering wheel, cursing while no one will let his visibly signal blinking truck in. He'll call me annoyed that I suggested he take La Cienega instead of the 405 to the 10 at 8:30 in the morning. Then call back and apologize when he intuitively took the Fairfax fork, avoiding impeding congestion from construction, thus getting him to work on time. He really hates driving with me. I jump from pocket to pocket, trying not to hurt anyone, cutting slow ones off nicely (don't they know they really need to pay attention and hug the car's bumper ahead of you, lest get jumped on?) Oh, I've had my share of aggravations, like the bitch in the BMW (the cheapest one) practically hitting me while cut in front of me, then as I responded with a hand placed continuously on my horn, she had the audacity to flip me off when she had almost caused a most horrendous fender bender on the 405 South at 6:02 p.m. But, to live here, you must learn the rhythms of the freeway. You must know each stretch, where the lanes expand then contract. You must also learn the exits to the best sidestreets, since sometimes the freeways don't neccersarily take you where you want to go. They also sometimes take you nowhere, when because of an accident or police pursuit you are stuck moving two miles an hour. But the greatest thing about living and driving in LA, is the random acts of kindness the traffic gods bestow on you, the day when you leave the valley at 4:13 p.m. on a Friday and get home to South Bay in 40 minutes. You keep looking at the clock, thinking, there has got to be some mix-up! This can't be! I can't possible be driving so fast at this hour! Those are the days you live for. And the rest of the time you just thank god for KCRW, Air America Radio, Indie 1031, and of course, your iPod with the car radio converter.